Winter

A priest went into the country to pay a visit to a 92 year old church member whom he had not seen for many years. She welcomed him into the parlor. While she made tea, he looked around and saw a beautiful oak pump organ with a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was half filled with water and a condom was floating on top of it. Astonished and shocked, he quickly turned away. But after tea, curiosity got the best of him and he asked her about it.

“Oh, yes,” she said enthusiastically. “While in town last year I found a package on the sidewalk. The directions on the back said ‘keep wet and put on your organ to prevent disease.’ And you know, I think it works. I haven’t had a cold all winter!”

An art exhibition

At an art exhibition, a couple was viewing a painting of three very naked and very black men sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on the ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.

While the couple was scratching their heads trying to figure this out, the artist walked by and noticed the couple’s confusion. “Can I help you with this painting?” he asked.

“Well, yes” said the gentleman. We were curious about this picture of the black men on the bench. Why is it that the man in the middle has a pink penis?”

“Oh” said the artist. “I’m afraid you’ve misunderstood the painting. The three men are not Africans, they’re coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went home for lunch..”